This Is Why You Are Still Single...

I know many people will be expecting a write up outlining possible reasons for still being single despite your age. You are probably waiting to read a list of character defects or tips on how to meet the man/woman of your dreams and sustain the relationship. Sorry to burst your bubble guys, but there is no list whatsoever in this post. I just want you to discover the basic reason why you are still single and it is very simple. So read on.

 

The African culture permits a lady to be single until the age of 25 at most and for guys the age range is extended to maybe 31 or 32. But even before they hit that age, they slowly become victims of societal pressure from families and friends. Immediately they cross the border line, they start hearing comments like "Babe, when are we going to meet him now?" "Honey, you are not getting any younger, your biological clock is ticking." "Girl, you have to lower your standards, you are chasing the guys away." "Girl, you need to go for fasting and prayers o! where are all the guys now?" And for the guys "Guyyyy, how far now? where she dey? or "Na she be dis? which day you go introduce us now?and it goes on and on.

People automatically take on the position of marriage counselors in your life saying things like, you are too ambitious, too career driven, too selective, too this and too that. These comments unknowingly put pressure on the lady/guy to settle with the next available person who catches their attention or seem like a prospective spouse. This is why we have so many broken marriages today. We see people getting married to satisfy societal norms; to have a sense of identification, especially for the ladies. A lady's sense of pride and achievement in Africa, most times, is tied to her husband. Her achievements, career success, goals are all useless without a man by her side (this one is another gist for another day).

The truth is you are single now because there are things lined up for you that are best achieved during this phase. Do not let societal pressure rub you of the gifts of being single, propelling you into getting married quickly without taking note of the pros and cons. Marriage is not just some contractual agreement you get into with the expectation of getting out when the odds are against you or when things go sour. Marriage is a life sentence, so you had better take your time before deciding who your prison mate will be. Marriage is serious business.

Your purpose in life is best discovered when you are single. This is the time to harness your skills, discover your potential, explore you possibilities, unearth the reason for your existence, work on some character defects, conquer your weaknesses. This is the best time to find out who you really are. Why? because now you are living for yourself. This is the maximum "YOU" time you can ever have. I think St. Paul in the bible understood the demands of marriage, as beautiful as it is though, that is why he preferred to remain single and pursue his ministry.

So why don't you explore your single life. Find out your passion because most times, your purpose lies within your passion. Find out your assignment on earth. Ask God the reason for your existence and start channeling your youthful energies and vigor into that area. You are not a matter- an entity that has weight and occupies space, you are here to make a change, to impact your generation with your skills, talents, gifts. While on the path of doing so, you might find your spouse or somehow life will bring you both together. 

So start investing in meaningful, educational, inspirational, and motivational books, audio tapes and videos. Attend character building seminars, attend seminars for singles to understand the depth of marriage. Connect with people along your desired career path, ministry, purpose, assignment. Build your network, learn new skills and equip yourself to be a hot cake in your chosen field. Maximize the potential of this period to build a strong, intimate relationship with God.

 As a fellow blogger stated "Singleness is synonymous with freedom. When you are married, your freedom is measured. Marriage divides your attention and affection. You are in control of your time and resources until you are married to the person with whom you will share your life for the rest of your life. What’s better than serving God and your generation with your singleness? If you do not maximize your singleness, the probability that you won’t recognize the power of marriage is very high.When two purpose driven singles get married they produce a purpose driven marriage." So get on and enjoy you singleness. You are a solution to a problem in this world. The world is waiting for you.